iM dying..

Im suff0cating...

Am I trying to0 hard?? My fren once told me dat the more a person wanna change herself and pushes herself too much,in the end her thoughts would take control of her mind and the reverse effects is gonna happen...is this happening to me??

Im trying very3 hard to change.I wanna change-I NEED to change...I don't wanna live a life with no meaning.I don't wanna be some1 dat ll ruin other ppl's life.Hence, changes is a MUST...

SomebOdy plz help me...Im dying inside..I feel so sad and depressed..Im beginning to hate myself..coz i cant even do something so simple..WHY canT i change my laziness??y musT i proscratinate?God,if you're there,y din u teach me wat to do??

I wanna cry out loud..I wanna lie on somebody's shoulder and cry it ALL out..BUT, im afraid to show ppl the real me..I don't wana be vulnerable..I wanna be strong..I need to be strong...coz i know my daddy put a lot of hope and expectation on me..But, i wanna tell him dat his hope is killing me and strangling me slowly...I cant breathe...but,at the same time,i dont wanna let you down...this is wat u want rite??

Yesterday,somebody asked me-"when are you going to live for yourself and not for anybody else??"..His words really caught me speechless...I don't know what to answer...coz even me dunno when am i gonna stop living for some other ppl...

i NEED to change..

After so many years,i finally think i need a change badly and hoping a new hairstyle would help..would it???