sleep late last nite due to insomnia..damn...
at last,after loads of effort..i managed to fall asleep last nite..
tho i slept for a short period of time,i stil can be haunt by bad dreamm...
my brain so efficient la...d*mn..
i woke up feeling sad n down..
i feel so bad dat i felt like breaking down n cry my heart out..
but i din do so..i guess..being in medic 4 5 sems make my teargland malfunction..
*good or bad sign??i cant decide..*
there's nobody to talk to...i feel lik blogging so bad... but i hav class with mrKhalid at 9 and i hav to clerk a patient in Surgical 2..no time to spare..so i jz gt ready n hav my usual oat...i cant even fake a smile at dat time...*pathetic*
i walk n walk n walk...my mind is still on dat dream i had jz now...
guess wat i dreamt??
i dreamed of my mum...not a gud dream...
*in d dream*
my mum adopted a small boy..my lil bro tol me about it n i was shocked n went to check out dat matter...i confronted my mum n she showed me my-brand-new-lil-bro...his back was filled with several scars..it seems dat he's abused..n sumhow,he looked a lil lik a Down synd kid...n to my surprise,my mum had adopted dat boy illegally..i was worried about my mum..i tol her dat it's illegal to do dat...but she's reluctant to listen to me...i felt weird n asked her y wud she do dat??(i hv 6 siblings)...she said dat...
ALL OF US HAD IGNORED HER n SHE NEEDED COMPANY N HER CHILDREN...
n tis make me sad n depressed...
i was speechless...
*end*
disappointment...random....heart...
haiz...im disappointed with everythng around me..
with myself,my life and basically everyting around me..feel so shitty...feel so wrong...but wat's wrong???i duno...no answer...damn...
i dun feel lik doin anythng....
i dun feel like studying...
i dun really feel like sleeping aso.,.
but hv to cz im feeling very2 tired lately..duno y....i even feel a slight pain at my chest...thnk god dat it doesnt radiate to my arm...lolx..
i dunno wats wrong with myself..im worried abt my heart but yet i gt d feeling dat it's jz me being a lil hypochondriac with my condition...i still hav tat palpitation sometime but i dun tell any1 dis time,..scared dat they'll drag me to d doc...n d most important thing is...i dun wan my mum to worry...she's getting so worried abt me sumtims...
i dun evn feel lik calling home nw...unlike lastime wen i nid to call home few times in a week.,.nw i dun even call home once a week..it's not dat i dun miss them..itz jz dat i think d longer i stay away frm home, d less topic i hav with em..it's saddening kan??ya..i noe...n yes...i still love em dearly n tis wud not change 4eva...eventho now dat i realise ppl can be selfish at times..n tis includes ur own sibling...but again...who's not???im not an angel myself...me too hav those time dat i think im selfish...no 1 is perfect..but it stll hurt me...
we're ONLY human....
~xoxo~
with myself,my life and basically everyting around me..feel so shitty...feel so wrong...but wat's wrong???i duno...no answer...damn...
i dun feel lik doin anythng....
i dun feel like studying...
i dun really feel like sleeping aso.,.
but hv to cz im feeling very2 tired lately..duno y....i even feel a slight pain at my chest...thnk god dat it doesnt radiate to my arm...lolx..
i dunno wats wrong with myself..im worried abt my heart but yet i gt d feeling dat it's jz me being a lil hypochondriac with my condition...i still hav tat palpitation sometime but i dun tell any1 dis time,..scared dat they'll drag me to d doc...n d most important thing is...i dun wan my mum to worry...she's getting so worried abt me sumtims...
i dun evn feel lik calling home nw...unlike lastime wen i nid to call home few times in a week.,.nw i dun even call home once a week..it's not dat i dun miss them..itz jz dat i think d longer i stay away frm home, d less topic i hav with em..it's saddening kan??ya..i noe...n yes...i still love em dearly n tis wud not change 4eva...eventho now dat i realise ppl can be selfish at times..n tis includes ur own sibling...but again...who's not???im not an angel myself...me too hav those time dat i think im selfish...no 1 is perfect..but it stll hurt me...
we're ONLY human....
~xoxo~
画沙
作曲:袁咏琳
作词:方文山
主唱:袁咏琳&周杰伦
午後的風搖晃枝椏 抖落了盛夏
我對著蟬認真說話 在對你牽掛
晚風輕敲著海沙 浪堆積起無暇
我跟純真在比傻 愛上你放不下
這風景如畫 （開滿鳳凰鳳凰花）
院子裡花灑 （澆灌著那種情話）
等最美的晚霞 等故事長大
用手中的流沙畫一個你呀
曾說過的永遠我們一定不會擦
我的青春開始在喧嘩
因為大聲說愛你而沙啞
用手中流沙輕描著你的臉頰
也答應說好的未來絕不會重畫
許過的承諾我就不會再去拿 因為我愛你呀
將思念壓成花
有你的記憶乾燥成瓶中沙
像沙漏般想著你滴滴達達
擦美美的趾甲 喝你泡的茶
原來幸福可以這優雅
不論多大風沙 路多分岔
我一樣找到你呀
管它風怎刮 管雨又怎下
越痛我就越來（越瀟灑）
不摘不屬於自（己的花）
喔愛閃著淚光為你我可以當傻瓜
這風景如畫 （開滿鳳凰鳳凰花）
院子裡花灑 （澆灌著那種情話）
等我們的童話 等誓言落下
用手中的流沙畫一個你呀
曾說過的永遠我們一定不會擦
我的青春開始在喧嘩
因為大聲說愛你而沙啞
用手中流沙輕描著你的臉頰
也答應說好的未來絕不重畫
許過的承諾我就不會再去拿
因為我愛你呀
用手中的流沙畫一個你呀
曾說過的永遠我們一定不會擦
我的青春開始在喧嘩
因為大聲說愛你而沙啞
用手中流沙輕描著你的臉頰
也答應說好的未來絕不重畫
許過的承諾我就不會再去拿
因為我愛你呀 因為我愛你呀
作词:方文山
主唱:袁咏琳&周杰伦
午後的風搖晃枝椏 抖落了盛夏
我對著蟬認真說話 在對你牽掛
晚風輕敲著海沙 浪堆積起無暇
我跟純真在比傻 愛上你放不下
這風景如畫 （開滿鳳凰鳳凰花）
院子裡花灑 （澆灌著那種情話）
等最美的晚霞 等故事長大
用手中的流沙畫一個你呀
曾說過的永遠我們一定不會擦
我的青春開始在喧嘩
因為大聲說愛你而沙啞
用手中流沙輕描著你的臉頰
也答應說好的未來絕不會重畫
許過的承諾我就不會再去拿 因為我愛你呀
將思念壓成花
有你的記憶乾燥成瓶中沙
像沙漏般想著你滴滴達達
擦美美的趾甲 喝你泡的茶
原來幸福可以這優雅
不論多大風沙 路多分岔
我一樣找到你呀
管它風怎刮 管雨又怎下
越痛我就越來（越瀟灑）
不摘不屬於自（己的花）
喔愛閃著淚光為你我可以當傻瓜
這風景如畫 （開滿鳳凰鳳凰花）
院子裡花灑 （澆灌著那種情話）
等我們的童話 等誓言落下
用手中的流沙畫一個你呀
曾說過的永遠我們一定不會擦
我的青春開始在喧嘩
因為大聲說愛你而沙啞
用手中流沙輕描著你的臉頰
也答應說好的未來絕不重畫
許過的承諾我就不會再去拿
因為我愛你呀
用手中的流沙畫一個你呀
曾說過的永遠我們一定不會擦
我的青春開始在喧嘩
因為大聲說愛你而沙啞
用手中流沙輕描著你的臉頰
也答應說好的未來絕不重畫
許過的承諾我就不會再去拿
因為我愛你呀 因為我愛你呀
surgery...
its d 2nd week of tis posting...everythng felt so so so wrong...yet i duno wats wrong..
i dun hav mood to study...n d best part is..i dun gv a fuck about it...lolx..
damn me..haiz...helpp!!
i dun hav mood to study...n d best part is..i dun gv a fuck about it...lolx..
damn me..haiz...helpp!!
me heart holidays....
weeee~~~
it's holiday once more...heee~~
finish my last paper on tuess...then went out with couple of frens..had good food...cute movie...yummy ice cream...pleasant evening spent in bookstore with yee2..lolx...ya...i feel lik a nerd t0o...muahaha...
nextday:went redbox with my dears...hahaha...i went craziiee after the exmm..urmm..lik always..wee~hahaha...my plan to kemas my ro0m failed tremendously cz by d time i went home,i talked with my current-gf til...urmmm...i aso duno wat time...then i teman her to mamak dwnstairs...haha...saw chris there..so,we kinda teman him finish his food..hahaha...(actly,we kinda jz sit there n talk to each other nia..kakaka...pity him)..he must really hate us nw..haha...
wake up early nxtday....n kemas my after-tsunami-conditioned-room....hahaha...seriously...my stuff is everywer...lolx...kemas..n kemas...n kemas...hummm...so tiring~~
mandi n weee~~~~
..head to pudu n ate mcD with my gf...
bought ticket n yay~~home....
reach home at...ummm...dun rmmbr the time...hahaha...
typical day at home:eat,sleep,read "5 ppl u meet in heaven",watch drama,babysit my lil bros..hahaha...bored..but im loving it..heee~~~
i luv my home cz i feel safe ere...u noe...it feels lik ur territory..lik ntg bad wud ever happen to u...wonder whether i wud feel d same in 10 years time...haha...
it's holiday once more...heee~~
finish my last paper on tuess...then went out with couple of frens..had good food...cute movie...yummy ice cream...pleasant evening spent in bookstore with yee2..lolx...ya...i feel lik a nerd t0o...muahaha...
nextday:went redbox with my dears...hahaha...i went craziiee after the exmm..urmm..lik always..wee~hahaha...my plan to kemas my ro0m failed tremendously cz by d time i went home,i talked with my current-gf til...urmmm...i aso duno wat time...then i teman her to mamak dwnstairs...haha...saw chris there..so,we kinda teman him finish his food..hahaha...(actly,we kinda jz sit there n talk to each other nia..kakaka...pity him)..he must really hate us nw..haha...
wake up early nxtday....n kemas my after-tsunami-conditioned-room....hahaha...seriously...my stuff is everywer...lolx...kemas..n kemas...n kemas...hummm...so tiring~~
mandi n weee~~~~
..head to pudu n ate mcD with my gf...
bought ticket n yay~~home....
reach home at...ummm...dun rmmbr the time...hahaha...
typical day at home:eat,sleep,read "5 ppl u meet in heaven",watch drama,babysit my lil bros..hahaha...bored..but im loving it..heee~~~
i luv my home cz i feel safe ere...u noe...it feels lik ur territory..lik ntg bad wud ever happen to u...wonder whether i wud feel d same in 10 years time...haha...
ESTJ
Just did a personality test...so,jz wanna post d results ere...
You're an ESTJ
ESTJ
You like to roll up your sleeves, dig in and go right at getting the job done. you use logic and analysis as guiding principles in your life. You're quick to decide and set out a plan of action. You make sure commitments (your own and those of others) are honored and the job gets done.
You value team sports, and other group activities. If something is the tradition of your job or school, you'll take part in it. You know that you have to "earn your keep" and take responsibility for yourself...you take your roles seriously (father, employee, student, or whatever).
You learn best in structured settings...you're a take charge kinda person.. you can deliver when there's a specific task with deadlines...you have an orderly and logical way of evaluating things..
You like a task-oriented and structured atmosphere...you get a thrill outta accomplishments and just having finished something...efficiency is important to you....with you, "what you see is what you get."
You are the prototypical leader. You give advice freely, you take charge, you wanna fix the problems...you are quick, direct, and crisp at getting to the core of the situation...others might look at you as tough, driven, or heartless, though..
You put work before pleasure, and know when to do which...fun time is often seen as a reward for accomplishing a task... you don't just go for walks.. the walk hasta have a purpose...
Love means stability and steadfastedness...however, when you fall in love, this is pretty much the only time you'll be flexible and spontaneous... you expect security and loyalty in relationships...you logically expect that a relationship will have its ups and downs, so let the other person weather the tough times, when you should be helping perhaps...you don't like to let others see your hurt feelings....you're supersensitive to being rejected and may not always share that hurt...
Things to watch for: you might decide too quickly and to form opinions how things "ought to get done." But what happens when circumstances change? Also, don't walk on others feelings...it's part of working with others and you don't particularly consider this part often...when you get emotional and you've been holding stuff inside, a seemingly minor incident will set off an explosion...don't forget to consider others' values and opinions.
ESTJ: "Execution Saves The Job"
You're an ESTJ
ESTJ
You like to roll up your sleeves, dig in and go right at getting the job done. you use logic and analysis as guiding principles in your life. You're quick to decide and set out a plan of action. You make sure commitments (your own and those of others) are honored and the job gets done.
You value team sports, and other group activities. If something is the tradition of your job or school, you'll take part in it. You know that you have to "earn your keep" and take responsibility for yourself...you take your roles seriously (father, employee, student, or whatever).
You learn best in structured settings...you're a take charge kinda person.. you can deliver when there's a specific task with deadlines...you have an orderly and logical way of evaluating things..
You like a task-oriented and structured atmosphere...you get a thrill outta accomplishments and just having finished something...efficiency is important to you....with you, "what you see is what you get."
You are the prototypical leader. You give advice freely, you take charge, you wanna fix the problems...you are quick, direct, and crisp at getting to the core of the situation...others might look at you as tough, driven, or heartless, though..
You put work before pleasure, and know when to do which...fun time is often seen as a reward for accomplishing a task... you don't just go for walks.. the walk hasta have a purpose...
Love means stability and steadfastedness...however, when you fall in love, this is pretty much the only time you'll be flexible and spontaneous... you expect security and loyalty in relationships...you logically expect that a relationship will have its ups and downs, so let the other person weather the tough times, when you should be helping perhaps...you don't like to let others see your hurt feelings....you're supersensitive to being rejected and may not always share that hurt...
Things to watch for: you might decide too quickly and to form opinions how things "ought to get done." But what happens when circumstances change? Also, don't walk on others feelings...it's part of working with others and you don't particularly consider this part often...when you get emotional and you've been holding stuff inside, a seemingly minor incident will set off an explosion...don't forget to consider others' values and opinions.
ESTJ: "Execution Saves The Job"
wat-the-hell??
2moro ll be my last paper..
urmm..or rather my last ospe for this exm...
suddnly sadness and depression seems to be haunting me now..
..duno why..
but it seems that i learned to control my tears from the public this semester...and put on a smile on my face..hard but..i guess this is the best...
even though i might be suffering inside..but i don't think any1 care actually...
or did any1 ever cared??i only want a friend that care and to be there for me when i need him/her to be with me...is that a lil too greedy??i don't know..
im more than willing to be with my friend when they need me..i guess im over-dependent...
*cry*
urmm..or rather my last ospe for this exm...
suddnly sadness and depression seems to be haunting me now..
..duno why..
but it seems that i learned to control my tears from the public this semester...and put on a smile on my face..hard but..i guess this is the best...
even though i might be suffering inside..but i don't think any1 care actually...
or did any1 ever cared??i only want a friend that care and to be there for me when i need him/her to be with me...is that a lil too greedy??i don't know..
im more than willing to be with my friend when they need me..i guess im over-dependent...
*cry*
