Another day..

Cant believe I had lived for a QUARTER decade now.. whoop..I sound so old..

Life's been normal..too normal indeed.. and kinda routine..

All work n no play makes me a dull girl..hohoho...

maybe it's time to break outta this life and start living one... 

MAYBE

PERHAPS

INDEED 

.

.

.

birthday...

its my bday again..

but this year..it feels so different..
im working d.. no more a student..
i dont have my family with me..
i dont have my bff with me..
i feel so alone suddenly..
i spend my day avoiding some crazy boss..
such miserable life..

exm??wat?!

been years since i last blogged~

n im actly blogging when im actly supposed to stdy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

owh shoots~

y am i so fucking lazy?

i SErioUsLy thinks its geNETIC...muahahaha..

i mean there's NOT a single soul in my family who is hardworking..

n d best part is we ALL share the same hobby...

haahhaa..dat is to watch tv n sleep..

*nways,im jz homesick*

hence, to compensate my boredom+exm mood+homesick..i bought tonnes of stuff...hahhahahahahahaahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!

bye~

in my life, i had never thought of running away from home,

no matter how screwed up my life had been..

but at this moment,i felt like running away..

not away from home but away from my life..

away from evrything..

away from people..

away from my thoughts..

away~

for ppl that loved me,

i love u too..

not as much as u do but even more..

I've tried to be strong

I've tried to live alone

I've tried not to bother others

yet

i"m not strong enuf

i'm really that bothersome

n my tears are really that uncontrollable sometimes

i wished i had some1

i wished im not alone

i wish..

~have u ever felt heart so broken that its painful to even breathe?~

sick AGAIN

&

as always

HATE to be ALL ALONE

Owhh-emmm-Geee

i FEEL poor

i mean

I AM POOR

~gosh...hate this feeling~

I HAVE ONLY ONE WISH THIS YEAR

the one n only

it's d time of the year

when i missed u deeply

it's d time of the year

when i felt u around me

it's d time of the year

when i wished u were here next to me

it's d time of the year

when i wonder what are u doing

when i hoped the best is with u

when i wana whisper "i love you" next to u

If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea

I'll sail the world to find you

If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see

I'll be the light to guide you

Find out what we're made of

What we are called to help our friends in need

You can count on me like one, two, three

I'll be there and I know when I need it

I can count on you like four, three, two

And you'll be there 'cause that's what friends

Are supposed to do, oh yeah, ooh, ooh

If you toss and you turn and you just can't fall asleep

I'll sing a song beside you

And if you ever forget how much you really mean to me

Everyday I will remind you

Find out what we're made of

What we are called to help our friends in need

You can count on me like one, two, three

I'll be there and I know when I need it

I can count on you like four, three, two

And you'll be there 'cause that's what friends

Are supposed to do, oh yeah, ooh, ooh, yeah, yeah

You'll always have my shoulder when you cry

I'll never let go, never say goodbye

You can count on me like one, two, three

I'll be there and I know when I need it

I can count on you like four, three, two

And you'll be there 'cause that's what friends

Are supposed to do, oh yeah, ooh, ooh

You can count on me 'cause I can count on you

some people said honesty is the best policy

but

i say

acting is sometimes the best

*read this somewhere*

....病了，一个人扛......

...烦了，一个人藏..

...痛了，一个人挡...

...街上，一个人逛...

...路上，一个人想...

...晚上，一个人的床…

...慢慢地习惯了一个人的生活...

...变得沉默...

...变得冷落...

...没了想理...

...不想说...

...不想看...

...我不是高傲...

...也不是胡闹...

~只是厌倦了那些随时可能失去的依靠~

Do u ever feel so scared n insecure that u felt like screaming out loud..

Sometimes

Sometimes, things don't go my way..

Hence, I'm afraid to move unless I need to...

Sometimes, things go wrong when they are supposed to go right..

Hence, I remained in the center, reluctant to take any wrong-turns..

Sometimes, i'm so afraid to lose,

Hence, i chose to give up b4 i try my best..

Sometimes, i'm so afraid of good-byes,

Hence, I bid farewell b4 others do...

Sometimes, i'm so afraid of failure,

Hence, I failed myself even b4 starting the journey...

"Sometimes" does not really happen at times..

And yet, bcoz im so afraid of that "sometimes", i stayed the same place since then...

Somehow, Someway, Someday perhaps..

As much as i knew the importance of education,

I somehow wished that i would not need to study hard..

As much as I knew how everyone like pretty people,

I somehow wished inner beauty counts more than what we had outside...

As much as I need money,

I somehow wished money is a small matter...

As much as I knew I need to be dedicated & responsible,

I somehow wished there is moment that I could be rebellious...

As much as I knew we need to think for others,

I somehow wished somebody could think for me too...

As much I loved being independent...

I somehow wished I had a shoulder to lean on and someone to depend on...

~Because I'm feeling EXTREMELY tired~

+p.e.r.i.o.d+

it kinda spoilt my day..

by that i meant couple of days..

or mayb more than dat,,

damn...i felt horrible..

i suddenly felt like going somewhere terpencil and think about what i want in my life

and

maybe

i should

it's d end of posting..

n im ALL blank n blur..

seriously a very bad sign!

sometimes,my rationale is that im afraid of ppl in this particular dept dat im nt able to learn n absorb...but seriously,i shudnt blame others for my own fault...for my own laziness...for my own stupidity...

hopefully...i ll learn sometng...soon...

i thought that by filling my empty stomach, i would somehow fill my empty soul, mind n heart...

but i was wrong...now that it's filled...

it's more obvious that it is my heart n mind that is empty...

when im asleep,i woke up due to pressure building up as hours passed..

when im awake, my eyes n mind wanted to just shut down coz im reluctant to face this cruel world..

izit possible that there's 2 different "you" living in your body???

i feel so schizophrenic now~