...at last my hubby released his single...
...am so excited cz it means it's abt time dat he's releasing an album..
~YAY~
...it's been a long long tyme since he released an album...
...n i miss him dearly...
*screw u guys dat dun lk my hubby coz i LOVE him*
...nways,i love his new single...
....well,i love d lyrics...
...i duno y...
...but i somehow felt sad n dpress wen i listen to d song....
... tho d music itself is not those of melancholic style...n is actly kinda soothing type...
...but somehow it makes me think alot today...
...you knw?...
...there's a lot of time, i felt so tired of stuff around me bcoz even if i've tried so hard to portray my role( as a filial daughter...as a good sister...as a trustable fren...as a good student) the best that i could,ppl around me jz seem to jz take it for granted...izit bcoz im not good enuf??i din do enuf??or simply cz im simply hate-a-ble??...
....or maybe i've tried too hard that it irritates ppl??...
...im so afraid of losing ppl around me dat i could simply forgive them for doing anything to me actually...yet i could not portray that cz i dun wana appear vulnerable...i'm too easily bruised n hurt by those words that other ppl said or do...but yet---> my fav word was..."I DONT CARE N I DONT GIVE A DAMN"...
...how ironic is dat??..
...sometimes,i felt like crying so much dat it hurts to even breath...
but i would NEVER do that now...bcoz one of my frens actly thinks im pathetic n he tol me dat everytng dat happen to me is actly "padan muka"...
...i was so hurt at dat time dat i promised myself dat no matter wat happen in d future,i would not evn drop a single tear around him...all the words he said is lk a stab to my heart at dat time...
...i've always been d sister dat takes care of my younger siblings...
...hmm..ok...or mayb more than dat...
...i've never tol any1 tis but im really tired of always had to be there for them...
...sometimes,me too, wanna be the one dat is taken care of...d 1 dat every1 would worry about...
...but yet...
...i could not uttered those words...
...perhaps it's my ego...
...my dad oways had dat expectation on me dat i felt so hard to evn breathe around him..
...i was supposed to take care of my younger sis,my younger bros,their studies..n sometimes,even my mum...
...yet i nid to be really good in my studies...
...im spposed to b d independent 1...
..but can any1 tell him dat i felt so tired of tis life at times dat i felt dat death is an easier ans...
...yet i dun do dat...
...cz i dun wanna be a loser...
...even if i felt so tired,i could not show them in front of my family...
...sometimes my sis said i dont have any facial expression,i mean,it's not dat i dun hav expression...
..it's coz i had to think it few times b4 i could twitch any facial muscle...
...am so excited cz it means it's abt time dat he's releasing an album..
~YAY~
...it's been a long long tyme since he released an album...
...n i miss him dearly...
*screw u guys dat dun lk my hubby coz i LOVE him*
...nways,i love his new single...
....well,i love d lyrics...
...i duno y...
...but i somehow felt sad n dpress wen i listen to d song....
... tho d music itself is not those of melancholic style...n is actly kinda soothing type...
...but somehow it makes me think alot today...
...you knw?...
...there's a lot of time, i felt so tired of stuff around me bcoz even if i've tried so hard to portray my role( as a filial daughter...as a good sister...as a trustable fren...as a good student) the best that i could,ppl around me jz seem to jz take it for granted...izit bcoz im not good enuf??i din do enuf??or simply cz im simply hate-a-ble??...
....or maybe i've tried too hard that it irritates ppl??...
...im so afraid of losing ppl around me dat i could simply forgive them for doing anything to me actually...yet i could not portray that cz i dun wana appear vulnerable...i'm too easily bruised n hurt by those words that other ppl said or do...but yet---> my fav word was..."I DONT CARE N I DONT GIVE A DAMN"...
...how ironic is dat??..
...sometimes,i felt like crying so much dat it hurts to even breath...
but i would NEVER do that now...bcoz one of my frens actly thinks im pathetic n he tol me dat everytng dat happen to me is actly "padan muka"...
...i was so hurt at dat time dat i promised myself dat no matter wat happen in d future,i would not evn drop a single tear around him...all the words he said is lk a stab to my heart at dat time...
...i've always been d sister dat takes care of my younger siblings...
...hmm..ok...or mayb more than dat...
...i've never tol any1 tis but im really tired of always had to be there for them...
...sometimes,me too, wanna be the one dat is taken care of...d 1 dat every1 would worry about...
...but yet...
...i could not uttered those words...
...perhaps it's my ego...
...my dad oways had dat expectation on me dat i felt so hard to evn breathe around him..
...i was supposed to take care of my younger sis,my younger bros,their studies..n sometimes,even my mum...
...yet i nid to be really good in my studies...
...im spposed to b d independent 1...
..but can any1 tell him dat i felt so tired of tis life at times dat i felt dat death is an easier ans...
...yet i dun do dat...
...cz i dun wanna be a loser...
...even if i felt so tired,i could not show them in front of my family...
...sometimes my sis said i dont have any facial expression,i mean,it's not dat i dun hav expression...
..it's coz i had to think it few times b4 i could twitch any facial muscle...
...im so tired..
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